Yeah, this isn't the easiest blog to write this week. This is our last week as a team meeting. I ran into my dreaded moment as a coach-getting sick and having to debate whether or not I could make it to practice on Monday.
I go to school full time and so I didn't finish my midterm final till late in the evening as I emptied an entire box of tissues because I was struggling with a head cold. I woke up Monday morning after a few hours of sleep and felt like someone had just dropped a truck load of bricks on my head, thrown some fire into my throat, and shoved about 5 gallons of snot into my nose. I made it 9 weeks and didn't get sick and finally after a 1 week break from coaching my body decided to get back at me.
I made the decision to sleep all day, hating that I had to miss my day job and drag to practice. I was really looking forward to seeing the girls since it has been almost two weeks. And I thought they would be a barrel of monkeys with all sorts of bottled up energy. But they have come such a long way in such a short time. They recognized immediately that I didn't have my normal energy and that I could barely talk. Shoot, I was lucky I could remember their names.
They got right to work on their community service projects. They made work stations, gave each other ideas, and created a pile of cards to send to military service members for the holidays. It really touched my heart and well, lets be honest, was a huge relief. Hey, all you parents know what I mean. That day you are just so under the weather and you want to do your best for your kids and they turn the table on you and do their best for you. This was one of those days.
So with that I went home and crashed early and looked forward to seeing myself recover so that I could be 100% on my game to celebrate with the girls on Wednesday.
What an emotional roller coaster for me. I know they only saw happiness and smiles and normal Coach Jillianne but man, inside I was just a wreck.
So I started my practice with a circle. We started the season this way getting to know each other and I wanted to end the season this way, showing the girls how much they have learned about each other. I loved some of the things they had noticed that even I didn't realize. I didn't know one girl's favorite color was blue and that she had worn blue every practice, that totally caught me off guard. I didn't realize the girls had learned character traits about other girls and what they appreciated the most from their team mates. They definitely looked up to certain girls and had a lot of admiration for each other.
I actually tried to avoid letting them say anything about me. I was being selfish and mostly I was pretty sure that they could have told me I was horrible and I would still get choked up about it because this program has taught me so much and given me back more than I ever feel like I can repay.
But with their plea's I let the girl to my left say something about me, and let me tell you, the words meant so much that I debated not writing about it in this blog because it took every part of me to not cry when she said them and I am struggling even now to avoid crying in front of my computer.
"Coach Jillianne, I think you have a real talent for coaching. You are a really great coach and a lot of fun. Oh, and you're really pretty."
Silly really, simple words and shouldn't get to me that much. But if you are one of my friends or family reading this then you know how I reacted to the night/morning before I went to my first day of coaching. I was absolutely petrified. I was so unsure of myself, and scared that the kids wouldn't like me. And here we are, ten weeks later and they were telling me that I had done just fine. And shoot, they think I am pretty. Don't lie, all you women out there know you need to hear that once and a while.
And you know what it is that gets to me the most? I know I will coach for as long as I can over the future seasons. I love doing this and no matter my schedule or what people say, this is what I do for me and it brings me such happiness. But this team, this set of girls will hold a very dear place in my heart because they were the first team to join me on this journey. Teaching me as much as I hope I got to teach them. They inspired me to work harder at school, home, and in my own life and they have been my biggest source of inspiration to get back into running.
Cause that was what I had lost faith in the most over the years was my running. The thing that had always been my greatest joy I had basically all but quit over the past year. And I am running again with a sort of determination that I don't think I ever possessed. I am making the healthy choices I need in my life and its been amazing.
And as I watched the girls grab their treats of cupcakes, cookies, fruit and veggies and sit around the room chatting with girls they didn't know before they started this program, and their parents starting to filter in and join in with the girls, I was filled with so much joy and happiness. I would say its bittersweet knowing I may never see some of these girls again after our race this Saturday, but they will be in my heart and memories forever.
So I am glad for all that have read about my journey as a coach in my first season with Girls on the Run and I look forward to sharing many more stories of my adventures in the future. For now I will be gettin ready to prepare for what is probably the biggest 5k races I will ever run in my life. My first ever Girls on the Run 5k with my team the Purple Pickles.
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