Let me start from the beginning. About two months ago my director sent an email asking if anyone wanted to join SoleMates®. A group that raises money directly for their chapter of Girls on the Run. They participate in different races throughout the year and competitions. One of the events that you could join was the Athleta Iron Girl Columbia Triathlon in Columbia, MD (I happen to live here).
I have NEVER wanted to participate in any triathlon whether it was a sprint (.5 mi swim/ 17 mi bike/ 5k run) or it was a full. I hate swimming in lakes where you can't see the bottom and its murky and slimy and there are fish and possible snakes and leaches and heaven help me if I really know. I get the creeps thinking about it.
But it was like I couldn't control myself, I had this weird out of body experience and the next thing I knew I was getting an email back from my director with all the forms and a couple hours later I was writing a check for my entry into or local triathlon.
WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!???
Did I mention my deep fear of fish...it's completely irrational, I get that but fish belong on my plate, not skimming by my legs while I swim.
And for the first month or so I started almost going through the stages or grief.
I went through stages of shock, denial, anger, depression...I mean it. I was scared out of my mind and didn't want to believe I had committed to such an undertaking. Even worse, is that I was even unsure if I could raise all the money I needed to raise.
Then I started racing, and noticed that I had become a stronger runner.
I kept going to my boot camp and Brazilian Jujitsu classes and noticed I was getting stronger and more adept at the movements.
Then the impossible happened, I started believing, maybe I can do this. Don't get my wrong, I still am freaked by the fish, but something tells me I will survive the perils of Lake Centennial.
So I finally pushed the word out to my friends, family, and coworkers. I need money-but it's for a good cause. I feel so bad sometimes harassing people in this day and age when I know how tight things are for everyone. But as tight as things are for them, they have opened their wallets, reached in deep and in my first 30 days helped donate over a thousand dollars. I still have over 60 days to go!
And I woke up this morning to see another donation and I thought to myself, I wonder if all these people realize how much this means to me. Every donation makes me believe in myself and helps me work a little harder because ultimately it is the girls that win. Every dollar insures that another little girl will find her spot on a team and hopefully be able to gain the wisdom, inspiration, and motivation to believe in herself more.
So tonight when I am struggling through my two hours of working out and thinking of how much I want to go have drinks at happy hour with my friends that I miss so much, I know they will forgive me for not hanging out while I go and get Girls on the Run Strong for this competition.
My social life has suffered in some ways due to my dedication to doing the best that I can but my friends who are really my friends understand and will be there for me when this is all done and until then they are some of the people along with my family that I lean on for support to encourage me that, "I can do this".
And I leave you with this:
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
My donation page if you are interested:
Jillianne's Fundraising page
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