AwesomeSauce

23 girls is crazy to coach. I mean, what was I thinking...how did I think this was a good idea?

Then today happens. I mean, today of all days happens.

I am a government contractor and for the past few months have been through it all including seeing my job on the line. To be honest I dragged my feet on coaching this season. I wanted to quit cause I didn't think I could manage the schedule anymore and still keep my job. But I promised my daughter for two years that I would be her coach. I try not to break promises to my kid.

Thankfully the coaches, parents, and school have been supportive where my ability to be motivated had been lacking.

Today's lesson: positive self speak.

"Oh great, my least favorite lesson". Yeah...this is my least favorite lesson. I mean, hold on before you all misunderstand. It is a great lesson but emotionally it is draining as a parent and coach. You have to ask the girls to give their negative self talk, tell us what they hear. And it kills me cause if you as a parent could hear the things they say they have heard, it would break your hearts. One truly beautiful girl admitted that people tell her she isn't very pretty.

Silence

Can you hear it?

That is my heart breaking. When I say this girl is beautiful, I mean it, she looks just gorgeous. Like she should be on posters, tv, movies.

Yeah...I hate this lesson only because I can't stand to think of my own daughter saying these things. As a matter of fact I sent her with the other coach just so she felt like she could really open up and not be pressured by me.

So, sometimes, it is the little things. You know, sometimes we are so overwhelmed by our own lives we miss that small moment, almost life changing.

And the quietest girl for the past year, the one girl who didn't even want to say her name out loud on the first day did something I had almost given up on. She spoke, at will, to give her input. I literally teared up. Still brings me to tears. I never thought she would ever speak up on her own. Don't get me wrong, she isn't unhappy, she smiles and she chats with friends. But to just willingly volunteer to answer a question, I didn't expect it.

Wow...I was over the moon.

So, because this sounds like this blog started mildly depressing to start I want to switch gears.

We met the other half of the team for running practice. I was stoked. Until I realized we didn't have beads for our lap counters. AAHHHHH.

Thank goodness I have seen the other coaches pictures of practices. #idea

Markers in hand and creative minds at work, for every lap the girls ran they got a new letter. Till it spelled out "Be Positive" on one arm. Girls ran so fast that we needed more letters. And as they ran around one of the girls said her positive statement "I am awesome sauce!" So the new word for their second arm was awesome sauce.

I loved it, the girls ran, skipped, danced, sang and we saw them all lighting up as they said more and more positive affirmations. Shoot, the coaches caught the bug.

And then a very special moment happened. After practice I sometimes help some of the kids get home. Two particular girls got a ride from me today.

I thanked the girls for coming out to practice and being a part of the team. As a matter of fact, one of the girls was my biggest motivation to attempting two teams cause I watched her grow so much last year and I wanted her back cause I wanted her to continue her journey.

As she got of the car tonight she popped her head back in and said, "Coach Jillianne, you are doing a really good job as a coach. Thanks for being there for us".

Yeah....to all you fools reading this, instead of out there trying to make the world a better place, this was worth all the crazy. You are missing out.

I am just so happy. I am seriously motivated. I feel like I did when I first started and couldn't wait to coach. Tonight I am sitting here trying to come up with ideas and pans for Monday already. Excited to set that team of girls again.

I can't even concentrate, I am so excited. I always am excited to coach. But this season had been so amazing. And I feel like a brand new coach again.