Sportsmanship

It's been years since I wrote on this blog. Today something happened that I felt like was important enough to share more publicly and still has some relevance to three years of being a coach for gotr.

My oldest daughter Ruth asked to come with me to watch me fight in a tournament in NYC. At first I thought she was under the impression that this would be some grand sight seeing trip but she made it clear today coming to watch me fight was her main objective.

There are battles we all face daily in our lives and today I had to face a few. My daughter witnessed me first hand doing something I hate to do, weight cutting. I was diagnosed with Bronchitis just 2 1/2 days before the Jiujitsu tournament. This meant I had to be on meds to help with my breathing this week and even today I was not 100%. So when we got to the venue I checked my weight to see that I was 3 lbs over my limit. I pulled on my sweats and started running for almost an hour total trying to shed of those last pounds that aren't usually there. The meds cause water retention. Sigh

But I made it, with 30 minutes and half a pound to spare.

Ruth is the greatest fan ever. She was motivating me, stood by my side, and filmed me today. That kid deserves all the credit for my success.

And today I got to do something that will forever stick in her mind. She watched me go to my competitor that I beat and chat with her offering her words of encouragement. I even introduced her to Ruth at one point.

Ruth also learned what the meaning of being a poor sport and good sport means.

In my last match today my competitor beat me fairly. It showed me an area in my training that I had overlooked and taken for granted. She watched as my coach corrected me and I said that I made a mistake and he encouraged me by saying, it isn't a mistake but an opportunity to learn and be better prepared.

I was thankful that she was sheilded by the crowd by what my competitor chose to do and say to me after the match.

To see people filled with such hatred towards a person, amazes me some days. I felt thankful for some of my gotr lessons "stop, listen, think, respond".

As the woman yelled inches away from my face, I did this; stop, listen to my inner voice (I am to tired to deal with this I just want to hug my kid) think (alright I am just going to walk on this direction...yep this way should work) respond to person with simple: "ok".

I didn't feel angry, or hateful, or hurt really. I honestly just wanted to go hug my kid and drink some Gatorade.

I got a little spun up about it after I walked away and it sunk in just what had happened but it was something that happened with my daughter later that made all the difference.

When I got on the stand to get my second place medal, she was beaming at me with pride. I can't tell you how that was the best feeling in the world knowing how proud my kid was to be there with me.

She even asked if I would take a picture with her by the first place podium do that she could take it to school with the medal to show off during her week to be "star of the week" (like big kid show and tell)

In the car ride home later she tells me something that stunned me beyond words and into tears.

"Mommy, why when they took pictures of you didn't that woman let you stand on the first place podium with her when she brought the other girls up. Why did she leave you out? "

I stared at her and explained some people just hold a lot of anger in their hearts and it is always best that we are good sports no matter how someone else treats us and whether we win or lose.

She explains that when she saw that happen she started getting upset that someone would do that to me and how she stopped herself from crying when I looked over at her and smiled and waved and I didn't look upset.

The biggest wins in my life are not the medals or awards I get myself. It's in the moments that my daughters learn life lessons that will help them become the amazing young women I hope for them to be some day.

The words that were screamed in my face will fade from my memory but the look in my daughter's eyes and the words from her heart of how proud she was to be with me and that I am her mom, will live with me forever.

Someday maybe those who harbour such deep rooted hatred of me will fade and they will find peace in their hearts to move on. Hatred is not something I am built to sustain. It is destructive and takes away the parts of me today make me who I am.

I chose to listen to that positive girls on the run cord that I plugged into so many years ago and spread that energy to others.