I feel good when you hug me!

“I feel good when you hug me because hugs make me feel happy.  I would like for you to hug me every day.”

This was said proudly by a participant at my practice this past Monday.  But how right is that girl?  I mean, who doesn’t feel good when they get a hug?  Wonderful, that is what these girls are. 

Monday: What a day, phew.  I mean, five girls parents called and messaged me that their daughters couldn’t make it to practice due mostly to health reasons. I have noticed when we are missing one member how the girls seem a little more out of sorts but you should have seen these kids when half their team was missing.  They really have bonded and it was like they were missing a part of their family.  Its only been 6 weeks, two times a week at one hour and fifteen minutes a day and already these girls are super bonded.  Though I will admit that I missed the girls myself and was bummed for so many of them being gone. 

So, Wednesday, came again and as seems to be ritual we got rain. Now, I was actually debating if it was just misty taking the girls outside for at least a little bit.  Honestly, just ten minutes-except I just had five girls out on Monday, the last thing I wanted was to make anyone else sick.  And well…it wasn’t just misting as I pulled up to the school…late.  There, I admit it, I was late for the first time ever to a practice.  I had made the fatal error of only giving myself 30 minutes to make the 15 minute drive and it ended up taking nearly 45 minutes. 

So I feel like I say this all the time, how much I like a lesson, but really, I feel like as adults we could all learn just as much as these girls do from these lessons.  I mean, who gossips?  I know I have been guilty of it.  Shoot, let me make this my public apology right now, if I have ever hurt you with my words in the past by gossiping about you, I am sorry.  I honestly didn’t intend to hurt you because if I had I wouldn’t have been saying such mean things behind your back where I hoped you would never hear them. 

We have all done it and you should have seen the girls’ reactions when the assistant coach and I told them, that we are guilty of such a treacherous act towards people we know.  Now, I will say, I have a hard time believing the assistant coach could ever say a mean thing about another human being in her life. But hey, at least she didn’t leave me hanging when I admitted to the girls that I make mistakes. 

And does anyone know why I did that?  Why did I admit a flaw when I as the adult am supposed to set an example?  Because it’s unrealistic to teach kids that they need to be perfect.  Yepperooni, I said it-they can’t be perfect and your expectations are unrealistic if you think that you should expect perfection from your child.  You should only expect that they do their absolute best.  Did you know that we aren’t perfect as adults?    

The girls are smart though, they asked us, “If you aren’t supposed to gossip, but everyone has done it, what do you do?”  And here’s what we told them.  You apologize through your actions and words.  You try your best to make things right and hope that the person who was the target of your gossip is not hurt too badly for too long and that they can see it in their heart to forgive you.  The girls really almost seemed relieved I think when they realized we don’t expect that they will be perfect.

And then we let the madness ensue.  What happens when you had a dozen little girls a pile of newspapers, scissors, a scavenger hunt list and say to them-“have some fun”?  I tell you what, they have fun.  To the wonderful teacher who lets us use her classroom every week, I am glad you were not in there Wednesday afternoon!  Those girls covered the entire floor in newspapers, clippings, pictures, shoes, books, ….shoes?  Oh lord, half the kids even took their shoes off. But you know what; it was a really fun practice.  And after all these serious talks we have had, it was a much needed bit of fun. 

Dear Mother Nature-Can't you just...?

First a Plea-

Dear Mother Nature,

We Marylanders and the majority of the East coast are a bit tired of your dramatic mood swings.  I mean, come on, really-Earthquakes, Tornados, Floods, Weeks of rain…give us a break.  And if not for your love of the East coast then so that at the very least myself and the other Girls on the Run Coaches can take the girls outside to run and enjoy your beauty before the winter comes.

Thanks, in advance,
Jillianne

I am sure you all wonder what a coach does with the girls on days when it is nasty and rainy.  Well, apparently I am a wimpy coach because some coaches brave the elements and take their girls outside.  I am usually lucky enough to be able to sneak the girls into the gym and let them run and exercise in there a bit but no such luck this week.  Thankfully we were able to tie Monday’s lesson into Wednesdays a bit and get the girls to work together.  I don’t know where it comes from but these girls never cease to impress me.

Monday was probably one of my most favorite lessons of the season so far.  Learning about cooperation.  This is something I actually have a lot of experience in having worked in fields where relying on the person next to you to work with you could be the matter of life and death for yourselves or someone else relying on you.  The military was great for teaching teamwork.  So I was more than excited to teach girls from all different backgrounds and ages to work together to achieve their goals.  I sat there like a proud coach as they worked their way around the caterpillar walk, trying to keep their feet on the pieces of paper I provided while still getting all the way around the circle.  I knew before I even finished reading the lesson that someone would emerge as a leader.  It’s neat to see that take its course and see the girls working together and following the directions of one of their peers.  Plus, it really made them work as a team.  I sort of wonder how it would fly if at work when people aren’t getting along or working together if I just quietly got up and placed a bunch of paper in a circle on the floor and told everyone, “Now listen, until we can work together as a team and get around this circle, we wont be able to work together as a team to finish our project.”  I think it would work beautifully but I have a feeling that they might not be as keen to hold each other’s hands.

And I loved seeing the girls work together in their run.  I don’t think I have ever been so excited running around and cheering them on.  I feel like I look like a crazy woman out there.  Yelling at the girls things like “you can do it, help out your teammate, keep moving forward!’.  But the girls really worked hard.  Not only did every girl finish their own laps for the day but many of them ran extra to help their teammates that were struggling and paired up with them.  Cooler yet, was watching how the girls choose different running partners every work out.  I love that they are constantly changing it up themselves now and they dont need me to mix up their groups anymore.

With yesterday’s beautiful rainy day, I was of course indoors again.  However yesterdays lesson lended well to indoor activities.  Talking about peer pressure.  I love when the girls say something so insightful that it almost brings tears to my eyes that I hadn’t ever thought of it from their perspective.  Thankfully many of the girls said they don’t feel a lot of pressure from their peers.  They mentioned things like scary amusement park rides, or feeling pressured to fight with their siblings, and of course the normal things that they hear about.  We asked them if any of them felt pressured to do things like smoke, do bad things, wear certain clothing and they all looked at me and the assistant coach like we were crazy.  One girl even said, “Why would I let someone pressure me into wearing something I don’t like?” *Internal happy dance occurs and little tears form.  These girls really rock at being independent.  I hope it sticks with them.  I guess that is what we are trying to do is show the girls that they can be who they want to be as long as it leads to a healthy and positive life for themselves.

I learned a lot from my fellow coaches at our meeting and was really surprised by the things they were telling me.  And I don’t know, I have always thought I had an outstanding group of girls and that I was just being partial but wow, I didn’t know what happens for others.  Sometimes I am scared that I am too harsh on the girls or that I am not being ‘fun’ enough.  But when I see them so excited to see me walking down the hallways I stop letting myself worry.  Maybe I just got a really great batch of involved parents, maybe it’s that I have some sort of system that works, and maybe I have great assistant coaches.  Honestly though, when push comes to shove it’s the girls who make the decision to work together and be respectful towards each other and the adults running the program.  To say I am lucky is an understatement.

So when asked last night if I might be interested in doing this program again, I could barely let them finish asking before I was trying to shove my paper with my information in their hands.  As my father once said when I told him I was joining this program as a coach, “Outside of being a mother, this will be one of the most rewarding things I ever do with my life”.  Well, dad, as always you are right.

Why do I Volunteer

My friends ask me all the time why I take so much on.  School, works, kids, and some semblance of a social life on occasion. I don’t know that I know any other way to be.  So taking on being a coach for Girls on the Run just gets added to that plate and balanced carefully.  But is it worth it, the extra time constraints and commitments in my life.  Well every day I show up to practice makes it worth it in my opinion.