Accomplishment

I obviously coach, that was the start of this blog was to document the journey of a new coach from the beginning of her adventures of starting with Girls on the Run.  There are bits and peices that people can learn about me through out the different blogs.  Some days I am stressed, you can see it in some of my writings, and some days I am overjoyed.  Being a coach hasn't always been easy.  I appreciate what teachers do so much more, and truly believe they are underpaid. 

I have found so much joy being there and getting to learn so much about myself and these children.  I like sometimes looking back at a blog and thinking, wow, that was a rough day, but shoot, we made it through that, I can make it through anything. 

This season has proven interesting with new challenges.  Strange parents, yep, totally calling it as I see it, but there are some strange people out there that I have to sometimes communicate with.  I have actually had some injuries this year, not usually caused at practice but still, things I have had to work around.  My own insane schedule, I may have taken on too much/overloaded myself a bit and it is being remedied.

So for the first time I have finally let help come to me.  It is scary, to let go and let someone help me and let them have a little control, but I needed to let this happen because my functioning as a person has been dwindling. 

In all this time, I had to step back a little from training myself to focus on one thing, the most important event personally for me in a long time.  The Army Ten Miler (ATM). 

So why is the ATM and GotR connected?  I wanted to teach the girls just what you can do when you push yourself and keep moving forward towards your goal.  I also wanted them to feel somehow connected to my own race. 

Two weeks ago I ran the Baltimore half marathon with two of my training coaches (ie-these women push me to be better and stronger).  They were awesome considering that they came out in 40 degree weather to run 13.1 miles and they even smiled a bit at the end.  It is still very strange to be to run in a race and have friends in the same race.

I realized though that I didn't represent GotR this entire year in any of my races.  Seriously, I even did the Iron Girl Triathlon and I didn't wear a GotR shirt, hat, nothing....seriously?!?!

These girls and this program are the reason I changed my life and started working so hard. What was wrong with me. And now as I head into my last big race of the year, I realize, this is my last chance. 

I had a race shirt that I got from Solemates that has a big huge GotR logo on the front and on the back it says "Go to your Happy Pace!".  It is white, it fits some what awkardly, but it would have to work.  On Wednesday of last week I encouraged the girls to run hard and they could help me decorate the shirt with color and sayings to motivate anyone who could read it. 

The shirt was beautiful.  Honestly, they did a great job, they came up with some really whacky and funny things, and I loved it. 

So last week I got dressed in my newly decorated shirt, put on my Garmin watch (given to me by GotR for my contribution to fundraising this past summer), and I ditched the ipod instead to sing a tune in my own head and repeat the things these girls and my own daughters had said to me to inspire me, including, Coach Jillianne, just run really fast!.

My goal that I set at the beginning of the year was 8 min miles for this entire race. I had never run faster than 10 min. miles for this race so this was a lofty goal.  And now I was ditching the music that I had come to love. 

Funny thing though, I didn't miss the music.  I quite enjoyed running without it.  I felt like I was racing again.  I felt driven and strong.  I was with my thoughts, words, and own songs of choice.  I could hear the cheering of people calling out to their family and friends in the race and have pleasant conversations with people who were willing to communicate. 

I remembered why I loved running so much.  That absolute inner peace and perfect runner's high, you get no where else than on the road. 

And my favorite part was all the people who ran to catch up to me just to tell me how much they loved my shirt, and how it had helped them to run and finish.  How many people when they saw the front asked me about Girls on the Run and I got to encourage more people to look it up. People from all over the USA were are this race.

So you ask yourself, did this crazy coach actually acheive her goal?  Technically no. I ran the race in 1:21.  basically I ran the race in 8:06 / mile pace.  But I was darn close!  Close enough to say it counts.

As I coached this week, I was full of joy.  I looked down on the faces that have helped to inspire my own journey to become a runner again and that has inspired my friends, family and even my own daughter to take up running or fitness in general.  I

Let the madness begin

Its hectic being a single mom some days.  I mean, think about it, I work all day, come home and have to make sure the kids have done their homework, that they get a little attention and love, and dinner and bed, and cleaning, and everything else!  Then you add on the stress of my own needs to take care of and being a woman like myself who is never satisified with just sitting around, I feel the need to make myself a little better each day.  Whether I learn something new, push myself a little harder, or help someone who needs it. 

I do all that and I started tutoring math students a few months ago.  I started training in Brazilian Jujitsu and recently competing (more on that in a minute).  I race in local races, trying to work on my times and hopefully one day acheive the status to be invited to run on a team of elite runners (we can all dream). Sometimes I even have a social life.

I have seasons and I am deep into the beginning of race season and competition (Jujitsu) season.  I also am coaching this season and I took on new projects at work hoping to one day get a promotion.

And I wonder to myself some days how I do it all.  I am sitting here on the eve of the Baltimore half marathon, I just competed in my first ever grappling match a couple of weeks ago, and I still am trying to figure out how to fit everything in next week and hopefully manage to do a load of laundry. 

No wonder I almost never sleep. 

And sometimes it affects my coaching, my parentings, and my friendships when I become overwhelmed.  I lost patience more easily and I dislike it when things get that way for myself. 

However, I love how perceptive children are.  Sometimes even my own kids do this but I have noticed over the past couple of weeks a great few things. 

5th graders-they are really stepping up and taking on leadership of their team mates.  Helping them to understand the way things work, and being there for each other.  They push their team mates to run harder, move forward and have a more positive attitude.

So to my fifth graders-that are growing up so fast, I hope one day you see what your parents, teachers, and myself all see in you, a wonderful and bright future with no end of possibilities to what you can acheive.  I thank you for all making every practice worth dragging my tired butt too and hope that in some way I have positively affected your lives.